They are pictured above in Los Angeles in 2015. It's hard to say exactly what anal orgasms feel like, but when you experience one, you'll know.Laura Dern, right, and her mother Diane Ladd have adapted a series of their conversations into the new book Honey, Baby, Mine. Some people involuntarily pee on themselves in an anal orgasm (anal play can stimulate the bladder). For me, anal orgasms longer and are harder to achieve, but mine are more intense and seem to last a long time (up to a few minutes). My boyfriend achieves anal orgasm rather quickly and can have multiple ones over a single night (say, at a sex party where he's getting fucked by many people). Minus the prostate, everyone's rectal anatomy is the same, so these descriptions should be the same for everyone who enjoys ass play. What does this orgasm feel like? In this article for Health - which is frustratingly only written with women in mind, as if men don't love getting fucked - Andrea Barrica, founder of the sex-ed website O.school, says that "some women describe it as being similar to a clitoral orgasm, a pulse of pleasurable contractions, but this time around the anal sphincter." Others, she says, feel more of a "spreading wave" of pleasure. Fisting orgasms (above) are just one way to achieve anal orgasm - you can also experience one with anal sex (with a penis) or with a toy. So many nerves are there that stimulating it has to make you feel something. Put simply, anal orgasm is the result of sexual stimulation of the nerves in and around the anus. If you've ever read really powerful sex poetry or erotica or engaged with arresting, transfixing erotic art, you know how this feels. If someone on a TV show said they had a sexual experience by reading a book or engaging with art, most audiences would raise their eyebrows - but I believe this is sex. The reason why we don't normally count powerful encounters with art, film, or erotic spaces - or non-tactile exchanges with people - as "sex" is because, linguistically, we're stunted in our ability to convey this range of human eroticism. I believe these are just two items on an endless buffet of erotic experiences a person can enjoy. Most people silo "sexuality" into two experiences: "sex with other people" and "masturbation," with the former involving penetration and the latter involving self-touching. Every time I walk outside is an adventure. These are complete erotic experiences - and for me, they're better than masturbation. An erotic encounter can be anything - browsing the underwear aisle in a department store, meeting the eyes of a sexy person on the sidewalk, stripping next to someone in a gym locker room, or seeing a man's bulge on the sidewalk. I prefer erotic encounters over solo time. Here are 20 alternative orgasms you should explore right now. There are no limited people, just limited understandings. Many people can't orgasm the "traditional" way - they have physical, medical, or psychological barriers to doing so - and often feel left out of discussions on sex. We must redefine "orgasm" to include a range of sensations that are non-normative - that don't fit a playbook, need specific body parts, or require movements that only able-bodied people can achieve. Other types of orgasms are more powerful for me. As an adult, I don't masturbate every day, and in sex, I never have to come. Later, I was taught how to "jack off" but it never became a big thing for me. I never achieved ejaculation, or the "standard" orgasm for cisgender men, but I still liked the feeling. When I was little, I didn't know how to masturbate, so for years I just rubbed myself against the bed. People with penises are led to believe their orgasms are simple - buildup, ejaculation, and you're done - and as a person with a penis, I disagree. We still don't know everything about orgasm for humans with vaginas and clitorises, which are described in countless different ways by those who have them. With orgasm, we generally know which brain chemicals are involved, but the range of orgasm is still a mystery, one shrouded in antiquated thinking and norms.įor most of its history, sex science has been a male-led field, subject to the biases, privileges, taboos, and hetero-centric standards that modern sex therapists have to do away with. But not everyone agrees on what "feeling good" means. Alternative Orgasms: 20 New Ways to Hit the SpotĮveryone wants to feel good.
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